Life as we know it....

Wow...today I had a very eye opening morning.

Last night Maddy had her very first Petawawa sleepover. She had a few friends over for her 9th birthday...a few weeks late! LOL Story of my life. All in all it was a fun night. There were four little girls and one boy. They had pizza, carved pumpkins, watched Marmaduke and just had fun. I drove most of the kids home and one little girl stayed the night. Maddy was thrilled, she loved having a friend sleeping over and she and this little girl really click. J (shortened to protect the names of the innocent! LOL) is a great kid. She's very much like Maddy in the sense that she is still 9 years old. She like to play. That is a trait hard to find in a 9 year old in this day and age! She's polite and kind and was just a pleasure to have around! Well I met J's Mom a couple of weeks ago and found out that J's Dad had been killed a few years ago in Afghanistan. Ouch. I opted not to tell Maddy. I felt that when the time was right and when she felt like she wanted her to know J would tell Maddy herself. At that time I would talk to her about it. I envisioned a lengthy conversation, possibly a few tears, a real Mother/daughter life lesson talk...I dreaded the thought, but prepared myself for what I would say.

When J's Mom came to pick her up she came in for a visit. We chatted for an hour or so and during that time the subject came up. In hushed tones I told her that I hadn't told Maddy, I was waiting until J felt like she wanted Maddy to know. J's Mom said she understood and we continued our conversation quietly. Maddy came through a couple of times and listened, but never really seemed interested. After J and Mom went on their way I talked with Jeff and we decided we should probably go ahead and tell Maddy, I know she had been listening and had figured out something was up. So I called her in the room. I asked her if she had heard what J's Mom and I were talking about, she said no. I told her it was something that I felt like she should know, and that it was sad news about J. Maddy looked at me so matter of factly and said, "Oh do you mean about J's Dad dying?" Dumbfounded I said Yes. I asked her if she knew how he died. "Yeah Mom he was killed in Afghanistan." I asked her how she knew, she said J told her a couple of weeks ago in school. WEEKS AGO?!?!?! She had found out this information a few weeks ago and had not even mentioned it to me. I asked her if she had any questions, she said, "Nope" and went back to play with Sarah.

My child knew her closest friend in school's Dad had been killed in Afghanistan and she never felt like she wanted to talk to me about it. Wow. Now, I'm fully aware that there will many many things that Maddy will keep from me in the years to come. There will be times when she has things that weigh very heavily in her life that she won't share with me...but right now, she still tells me pretty much everything that bothers her. That was the real blow to me, the thought that I haven't been able to shake all morning...it simply didn't really bother her. Okay, I don't mean that I'm worried that she wasn't sad, or felt for J...that's not it. She just wasn't shocked that her closest little girl friend's Dad had been blown up by a rocket, killed. Maddy's reality as a "military brat" is such that she isn't shocked to learn that about her friend. Again, Wow. When I was 9 I didn't know anyone whose Dad had passed away. It was a big deal if a kid had parents who were divorced...much less dead. How different our realites are. I know times change, but even today I don't think the kids attending Goshen Elementary school in Prospect KY have to deal very often with kids who have had their fathers killed in battle.

I am sad. Sad in a way that I never imagined I would be for my daughter. Sad that she has to see the world through the eyes of military child. In many ways I truly believe being a military child is a blessing. I do know it makes her a stronger, more empathetic child...I witnessed that as I listened to her comforting a little boy who was hiding in the little storage area under our stairs crying because he missed his Dad who is currently in Afghanistan. "Don't be sad, I know what it's like to really really miss your Daddy. I used to miss my Daddy most at night when I was trying to go to sleep. I would think about the coolest thing we were going to do when he got back, that's how I would be able to stop crying." Children are resilient. I know that, but sometimes it still just sucks when my child's reality is so glaringly different from what I envisioned it would be all those years ago when I dreamed of having a child...before my life became that of a military wife.

I am sad today, but tomorrow is a new day, a day when I will choose to count the many blessings we have as a military family...but today I am sad.

Old House, New House, Yellow House, Blue House

My kids...and consequently Jeffy and I...refer to our new residence as our Blue House. Technically that's an accurate statement. Jeff and I made the decision to have this house built so we picked all the home interior/exterior colors. It was actually pretty fun! We picked a house design, made a few minor changes and then picked a color scheme. "Building" a house sounds like a crazy hard ordeal, but there really wasn't much to it. In fact, all the decisions were made in two days. We went pretty safe on most choices, but we did make a couple of "fun" choices that make it our house. One being the fact that it's blue! We got to chose the siding and brick colors...earth tones seem to be the overwhelming favorites on our street. We drove the streets and saw beige, grey, white, cream and more beige and grey. Boring!! It took a little convincing on my part, but Jeff and I went with a blue siding and a greyish brick. We also had our front door painted burgundy, the siding over the garage is white...so we now live in a red, white and blue house!! You can take the girl out of America, but you can't take the American out of the girl!!! Needless to say we are the onlyblue house on the street, we all refer to our house as "the blue house."

We are settling in our blue house. It's been at least a week since I've heard, "Mommy, I like our blue house, but I want to move back to our Lellow house." (lellow=yellow in Sarah talk) Tomorrow Maddy starts school. I'm so nervous I can't stand it. She's not, she's just plain excited. She wants to meet other kids!! That is one draw back to building a new house...the no neighbors issue. The builder we chose has a wonderful reputationand rightfully so, he is awesome. But that is primarily because he builds only a few homes a year, 10-12. Right now we are one of only 5 houses on the street...and it will remain that way until next spring when he starts building again. The privacy is nice, but it is strangely isolating. There are 4 other familys on our street...all of which have 2 boys each. What are the odds huh?? Tomorrow is a new beginning and hold lots of promise...exciting and scary all at the same time!!

Old house,new house, yellow house, blue house.

"Beth" the Lamb

The whole reason I decided to start blogging again was because as I reread my older blogs there were so many little stories about the kids I had completely forgotten. All of those adorable little things they say and do that as parents we say..."I'll never forget the day they...." Well guess what?!?! I forgot!!! There was one story in particular about weasels that was absolutely hilarious and I had NO recollection of it whatsoever!!! At that moment I decided that even if no one besides me ever reads this blog, I do and it is a great way to pass on memories. So I'm back! And now I am going to pass along one of those stories that you just can't make up!!

In New Brunswick I used to babysit for our neighbors the Powells. I babysat for them for 2 years. Their oldest daughter Grace is 3 years younger than Maddy and their youngest Katharine is a year (almost to the day) younger than Sarah. I started babysitting Katharine when she was exactly a year old, so basically she grew up in our house. I loved that child like she was my own and so did Sarah. Katharine is a larger child and Sarah is a smaller child so even at a year apart they look exactly the same age! People always asked me about "my twins." They were always shocked that Sarah was mine and I babysat Katharine...Katharine has blonde hair and huge blue eyes, so everyone assumed she was mine compared to this tiny little minx with long brown pony tails. LOL Katharine and Sarah were collectively referred to as "the babies" by everyone in our household. The babies were exactly like sisters. They loved each other and they fought like cats and dogs!! When left alone they got along fantastically, but once anyone else was in the picture the fighting started...oh the fighting... But to spite all the fighting the bond was really strong and leaving felt alittle like breaking up a family. :(

One afternoon I was driving home from playgroup...or a doctor's appt...or the grocery...or somewhere (we were on the run most of the time) with both of the babies in back seat. I tend to pick my battles and most often that meant I allowed them to bring toys along to play with in the van, much to Jeffy's chagrin! This particular day Sarah had brought a couple Little People. One was Mary that happened to not get packed up with the Christmas Little People nativity set and the other was a little boy. Katharine had her baby Gigi. So I'm listening to them talk, which was one of my very favorite things to do, and they were discussing what they were going to play when they got home. Sarah was getting all excited about who was going to be Beth, who is going to be Beth?! So before it got out of control I asked what was going on. I was told they were going to play baby Jesus when they got home. Mary (Little People Mary) was going to be Mary, little boy (Little People) was going to be Joseph, baby Gigi was going to be the baby Jesus but they didn't have anyone to play Beth. And she was quite upset at this point that there wouldbe no Beth. I was at a loss about who Beth was so I inquired further. Sarah with her tone that said "Duh Mom" told me that they need Beth the Lamb. Beth the Lamb? Who is Beth the Lamb? Again with the tone, "Mommy Mary can't have baby Jesus until she gets Beth the Lamb, remember?" After a seconds of pondering it hit me like a ton of bricks...Beth the Lamb...Bethlehem. Mary couldn't have baby Jesus until she got TO Bethlehem!! I laughed and laughed and laughed! Never fear, when we got home we found Tina, the Webkinz sheep, to play Beth the Lamb and all was right in the world of Sarah. Hey, at least was listening in church right?!?!

Thought that would bring a smile to your face!! It's these memories I do not want to lose!! Andnow you can see why!!! LOL Enjoy your weekend...enjoy your kids, they aren't kids for long!!

Sad little faces...

Moves are hard. As a Mommy there is nothing that hurts me more than to see my little girls sad. My heart breaks a little more every tear they shed because they are sad, lonely and miss their friends. I chose to marry Jeff knowing he was a military man and knowing we would be constantly be on the move, but my girls were born into it. They didn't have a choice. Now I can quite honestly tell you that in one months time I will be in a much different mindset and I will, at that time, be able to discuss with you all the reasons my girls are lucky to be Army brats...but not today.

Christine Groves and family dropped by for a visit today. They were our neighbors and good friends in Oromocto. They have adorable little twin girls named Hannah and Olivia who are 4 and William, Sarah's self proclaimed "boyfriend," who is 3. I met Christine at a playgroup a couple of years ago and we became quick friends. Her husband Sean is an engineer and what a great guy!! The Groves clan had been visiting Sean's family in North Bay and were traveling through on their way to Christine's brother's house in Ottawa. What a treat it was to see a familiar face!! It was a fantastic couple hour visit...until their departure!

We hugged goodbye and it was sad...but I was fine. I waved them down the road and then I turned around to go inside and saw Maddy. She was standing there with big tears running down her face. We sat on the stairs and hugged and had a good old cry together. Sarah even joined in. Maddy just kept saying she was lonely and she wanted to go home. As a Mommy watching your child hurt and knowing there isn't a damn thing you can do to make it better is just plain torturous!! It's also hard to put on that mask of happiness and pretend you don't feel exactly the same way. I was so glad when we got our posting here...and I still feel lucky to be here...but the adjustment period is hard for me too.

Time heals all wounds and we will soon be at home here in our new blue house. I can honestly say I'm excited about the future here in Petawawa. I feelblessed to be here and I am looking forward toblooming where we happen to be planted now!! My kids will bloom too!! However...until the inevitable happens I am going to have to say that moves suck!! LOL

It's been a LONG time!!

Wow...it's been a really long time huh? I logged on last weekend to find a picture of our climber...Jeff and I can never seem to remember how to assemble it, so each time it's taken apart we find ourselves searching for an old picture to help. I knew I had posted one on this blog at one point so I logged on. I spent the next hour rereading all my old blogs. It was really fun...I can't believe how much I'd forgotten over the last few years!! It also sure brings to light how much has changed!!

This post will a quick catch up of the last few years!! Told you it had been a long time!! LOL

We are currently living in Petawawa Ontario. Jeff is working at the 2IC for 2 RCHA. (Second in Command for the second Royal Canadian Horse Artillery Regiment for those of you who don't speak Army! LOL) He's been here since April, the girls and I just moved at the end of July. We have been here a little over two weeks and we are working hard at adjusting. This was a move that I truly believe will be fantastic for all of us...but as I've said before, being in a new post sure makes you appreciate your old one!! It's hard to be the new kid on the block...for all of us. Have no fear, we'll settle in...we always do!!

Maddy is now almost 9 and just completed grade 3. She has had a difficult couple of years, but thanks to an amazing teacher and lots of hard work things are looking much brighter!! Maddy was diagnosed with dyslexia in the spring of 2008. It was a difficult path to get to her diagnosis, which I will share in the future, but we did eventually make it!! Her self esteem was severely damaged in the process and she had virtually given up. Her grade three teacher Mme. McDonald was a true blessing and diligently worked at rebuilding her self esteem and progressing her reading skills. That plus a fantastic multi sensory tutor and she is almost at par with the other students!! Yeah Madds!! Maddy has become quite an amazing little girl! She is as dramatic as ever...life with Maddy is always an adventure!!

Sarah is now 4...as of today...and is quite a little personality! She is adorable!! She says and does the funniest things! Her little antics are the real reason I want to renew this blog. She does so many funny things everyday that I know I'll forget and I don't want to!! We took her to the circus today for her birthday and she loved it!! She's growing like a weed and it kills me!!

That, in a nutshell, is where we are today. Little by little I'll catch you up through my new posts. I don't know how often I'll post, but I do know even if I am the only person that ever reads this blog...I love it! Now that I've done my Christmas newsletter catch up post I can start posting fun blogs again, and that is what I intend to do!!

Summer's Ending!!

Summer is almost over and I'm actually sad!! Last year I was doing a happy dance on the first day of school...probably because her last day of school in OK was May 6th and her first day of school here in NB was Sept 9!! Yikes!! But this year it's different!! We've had such a nice summer that's I'm sad it's over! I watched one of Maddy's friends and that kept Maddy entertained almost everyday! Here's a couple of end of the summer pictures of the girls!!

Our Big Girl!!

Our tiny Sarah has moved into a real big girl bed! She loves it! We were worried about how this whole real bed thing would work...Sarah is busy, so say the least. We weren't certain how she would do when completely surrounded by toys laying in a bed she can get out of on her own...but no need to worry!! I really think she doesn't realize she can get out of the bed without permission. She just sits on the bed and cries and when we come in the room, she holds up her arms for us to pick her up out of the bed!! If only using the potty came so easily!! LOL